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Oct. 21st, 2005 @ 07:21 pm Meh
Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: Evanescence --Bring me to Life
Fun times fun times;) So I've been incredibly busy for someone in limbo. Turns out Jeremy won't get his orders until the day before he leaves for Iraq which is now the first week of December. Leave if at all will be sometime between the 5th-16th of Novemeber if he's approved now that he's in his new unit officially.

We're stuck with the roach motel house for yet another months rent until he gets his orders to cancel the lease. So I'm in the trailer yet another month. The whole moving into Lainy's aunt's house is still unknown. Jer still wants me to buy a house but doesn't seem to want to help with any of the burden of that. It all really comes down to if it's really more cost effective when the loans said and done. If I had a roomate or two that would probably make all the difference. Jack's sister just found out she's pregnant again and space is a limited commodity in his present living situation.

I didn't get the walmart pharmacy job because apparently it's not enough of a challenge for me. So as I try to balance everything out financially I'm debating if I should apply anywhere else since anything I'd find would probably be incredibly temporary. I'm thinking a Micheal's or craftwarehouse would be great since I actually would know something about what I was selling.

I cut my food, medicine, dog grooming, heat, power, clothes, gas, and entertainment budgets down to damn near zero. Running total +50 bucks in my bank account. Still owe my dad 450 but I'm trading him my video camera for 300 and my canon rebate for 100. Yeah, so in reality I'm about even but can't afford to be cutting those things much longer. I'm so cold all the time:(

George Fox hasn't accepted me yet and lost my Linfield transcript. So today I had to pay for yet another one to be sent out and will have that delay as well in the admissions process. Although, they still haven't recieved the one from my professor either which kind of worries me. January is getting far too close.

As for the grieving of my friend and the void where my husbands presence once comforted me I'm doing a little better. I was so numb it was scarying me for awhile but eventually I found the strength to hurt so I'm healing. My friend's seem better as well. We still tear up at memories but smile in remembrance.

Shadow's allergies/eye infection is at a stand-still. I've knocked her down to the predisone pill in halves twice a day and some good old eye goo every few days when necessary. Otherwise she's not biting herself raw and tolerably uncomfortable. I think in fact we're all just tolerating the discomfort best we can afford to.

Convinced the sub dr on call to write out my prescriptions and he liked me so much he gave me 6 refills on each. He said he wanted to look over my records before he did a bunch of unnecessary blood work for me which leaves me a little concerned but otherwise happy to have a dr. that's willing to take the time work with my health problems.

Anyhoo, this weekend is full of birthday parties, watching my nephew play football, and taking my oldest nephews senior pictures Sunday. Busy busy Jaimebee buzzing off for now;) Many hugs!
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conscience
Oct. 12th, 2005 @ 01:19 am Hi my wonderful friends!!
Current Mood: numbnumb
Current Music: Friends laughing
Sorry for the delay in updating y'all. As it turns out I've been very very busy. The move home was fairly uneventful for us outrunning the hurricane. Just cost us a few extra miles and some toll booths along the way. The real shocker was how much gas cost. Friggin 900 dollars! So I'm parking it in my spiffy RV probably until the end of November. It's been a pain living out in the middle of nowhere and in a tiny trailer with a mini heater but I'm still WAY happier at home with my friends/family than I've been in years.

My friend Chet from High School that was kind enough to help me put my stuff in storage collapsed from a heart attack over the weekend. He was only 24 years old. It's been really hard. I of course was just getting to know him again and hanging out but my bestfriends but it still feels like I've really lost a dear friend. We've all been crying and comforting each other into the wee hours of the morning. Today we were up until 7am. My whole schedule is quite upside down. I'm just continuing to pray that his soul found the light after our talk of him with him not believing in an afterlife of any sort.

I applied to work at the walmart pharmacy and should be moving into Elaine's aunt's house in West Salem in about a month. The rent works out even with storage to make it so I can save money for college and my new laptop. My computer hard drive seems to have failed after several attempts at fixing it and reinstalling windows. I found my software box full of all my goodies:) I'm trying to get Jer's computer to work now and had to go out and buy a stupid damned dial up modem for it. If all goes well I should have internet in the trailer soon enough and be bugging you all again;P

Jeremy's been doing fairly well. He's going home to TX fairly soon. We're still up in the air about him visiting Oregon or not. Because the Army couldn't get their act together they're canceling his new unit and being reabsorbed into the same one he was in for aviation for his deployment. He still doesn't have his orders but we're hoping he'll get them before the end of the month so I can afford to break the damn'd lease to pay rent for Elaine's aunt's house.

Poor Shadow's allergies are actually about the same in the terms of bad. My stupid vet here is incredibly expensive and thinks I need to put her on steriods the rest of her life...:P I'm thinking it might just be cause we're out in the country so cross your fingers it's just the country critters.

Anyhoo several hugs and best wishes! I'll be sure to check your journals whenever I get a connection:)
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gir dancing
Sep. 21st, 2005 @ 03:31 pm Some reasons I'm leaving TX
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Current Music: jack iming me
1) how many dumb people are in office to make stupid laws (Bush is still from TX) http://www.dumblaws.com/laws.php?site=laws&cid=184®ion=43

2) There's a monster hurricane called Rita that's catagory 4 and actually going to hit the town I live in.

3) The Army has left me a life widow

4) My bestfriends are all in Oregon!

5) Mold has killed my sense of smell so much when a lady commented I smelled great at the vets office I couldn't smell myself.

6) Shadow's biting her butt off again.

In conclusion,
THANK GOD I'M COMING HOME TO GOD'S COUNTRY FROM THIS HELL HOLE:)

Bye bye for now my lovely friends! Take care:)
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conscience
Sep. 18th, 2005 @ 11:59 pm I caught the technology bug somewhere down the line...
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: clover burping lol
Instead of being a pure geek building new better more powerful machines I have this knack for killing them one by one if they're in my presence a year or more. My first computer locked up and I toasted the hard drive. A few months later my computer monitor exploded randomly. Got another computer that died 9 months later and was replaced by frys under my nifty extended warranty. Then I bought my fancy dancy HP laptop which has this wonderful power connection error that will have to be fixed the rest of it's lifespan. Then there's the Samsung LCD monitor(s) and their never ending quest to fail in ever more impressively frustrating ways. Tonight my custom built AMD 64 bit 320 gb (2 hds) gig of ram computer decided to fail. I went to church and decided to run scan disc on it while I was away to update it with the new yahoo messenger and weather channel weather bug programs I'd installed. I come home 2 hours later to see it hung on the startup screen saying its having a hard disk error and needs to reboot windows through its installation cd.

Fine and Dandy, if I new where the hell that lil buggers been hiding. I've been looking for that mysterious box holding the sims 2 cds, my adobe photoshop cs, and the ever increasing pain in my butt windows xp pro cdrom. So I think nifty I can put it in safemode and roll back the settings to before I installed the 2 new programs. Maybe those programs have just made my computer angry. My f-keys that put the computer in safe mode when you boot up don't function on that keyboard. So I jacked my old sony vaio's keyboard after much digging with happily functioning fkeys only to discover it refuses to go in safe mode.

About ten boxes heavily searched and piled in several places throughout the bedrooms I still can't find the gosh darned windows cd. It's really just sounding like my damn hard drive failed. BUT if I buy said new hard drive I need to install windows on it and thus will still need the stupid windows cd. The computers about a two years old now. It's not ancient because I buy top of the line stuff so I don't have to upgrade very often. It's not quite due for an upgrade but as with the rest of my life maybe I'm due for one.

I'm pretty much packed for Oregon. The trailer I'm living in on my dad's property arrived at his house today ready for boarding. I said goodbye to my pastor and he said he'd pray for Jeremy in Iraq. I'm very grateful for all of that. I'm just at the point I want to buy a house instead of rent one and debating if it's out of a selfish desire to be at a place I don't belong yet or the best financial bet for Jer and me in the long run. I think even if we came a hundred dollars ahead out of building equity in a house it'd be worth all the hassle of getting the loan. Renting honestly has been so much work I don't see how owning my own place and not paying a pet deposit will be much different. I already do all the repairs and theres that wondeful VA loan. No down payment, they have to do a full out government inspection, we don't have to pay any fees up front, and with my excellent credit maybe we'll even get a good rate in the end. Plus being a home owner once I'm sure will make buying a second home wherever Jer ends up working after he leaves the army (Jan 2009) and the equity we build will help us find a nice family home to raise our chillins:)

*sigh* I'm on Jer's old computer now. I just was hoping to share in my computer woes and ask you my wonderful friends to pray I come up with some money to just get a new laptop with a beautiful 3 year plus warranty. Thanks! Should be journaling in Oregon next so bon voyage mon amies and take care!
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incoming!
Sep. 14th, 2005 @ 01:14 pm Ow!
Current Mood: apatheticapathetic
Current Music: jack iming me
So bending over to pack and lift stuff is really hurting today. What to do? Quizzes!! Oh and for all my wonderful download savy friends out there where's a good place to find new episodes of say Law and Order SVU, Medium, House, and Scrubs to download? The new seasons are starting just as I'm leaving to live in my little trailer in the country. No cable and no satilette TV makes Jaime something something:P

Your brain is 41 % feminine and 58 % masculine!
Well done! I hope you enjoyed taking this test. AND REMEMBER It doesn't explain how masculine and feminine you are, it explains which part of your brain -left or right provides what skills you may possess! Please RATE!




My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:


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You scored higher than 4% on feminine brain

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You scored higher than 90% on masculine brain
Link: The sex of your brain Test written by OOsh on OkCupid Free Online Dating


You scored 69 dick size!
Description 1




My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:


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You scored higher than 66% on dick size
Link: The How Big is your Dick Test written by Caramelbaby on Ok Cupid


Modern, Cool Nerd
82 % Nerd, 73% Geek, 34% Dork
For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!

Congratulations!


Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST




My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:


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You scored higher than 91% on nerdiness

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You scored higher than 96% on geekosity

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You scored higher than 52% on dork points
Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid
\

http://www.okcupid.com/virgin <-- read the advice, it's kinda creepy and you'll never look at someone's online pix the same.

The junior intern
Congratulations! You scored 19
You have the attitude and potential to make a great doctor if you put the work in. It's a long slog but you'd enjoy it if you got there. If not medicine, something similar such as tree surgery or S&M work may appeal to you.




My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:


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You scored higher than 79% on medpoints
Link: The could you be a doctor Test written by millie69 on Ok Cupid


Pretty Messy
You scored 65% Dirtiness!
Your score indicates that your mind is on its way to true dirty status. You've passed the test, but there are some things you could work on. You appreciate dirty things and you wouldn't call your thoughts pure, but you haven't gone completely dirty. You don't have a hard time thinking dirty, but you're probably less driven to do so than someone with a true dirty mind.




My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:


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You scored higher than 36% on Dirtiness
Link: The Dirty Mind Test written by demainneviendra on Ok Cupid


ENTJ - Commandant
You scored 54% I to E, 36% N to S, 66% F to T, and 10% J to P!
The single word to describe your type is fieldmarshal or commandant. You also belong to the larger group called rationals. You love to organize others in matters of logic. Even as a child, you likely naturally assumed the role of leader in groups. You share your personality type with 2% of the population. When you lead, you are more concerned with policy and goals than rules and regulations. You have a tendency to become a workaholic. You are impatient with repetition of error. You are friendly and outgoing, though. You don't mince words and willingly share your many strong opinions.
As a romantic partner, you are inspiring, but also somewhat challenging. You have a strong desire to be in charge and your clear need for an organized life and home can be overwelming to a partner. You like to confront conflict directly, discuss problems unflinchingly, solve them, then put them behind you. However, you can be too impatient or unwilling to take the time to listen to your partner and give them a chance to express themselves fully so that they also have a sense of closure. You are generally uncomfortable dealing with emotions, so you are apt to dismiss your partner's emotions as illogical. You feel most appreciated when your partner asks for your opinions, takes your adivce, and relies on you to get a job done right.
Your group summary: rationals (NT)
Your type summary: ENTJ




My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:


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You scored higher than 56% on I to E

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You scored higher than 45% on N to S

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You scored higher than 86% on F to T

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You scored higher than 2% on J to P
Link: The LONG Scientific Personality Test written by unpretentious2 on Ok Cupid


Ok enough goofing off:P Enjoy^^
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gir dancing
Sep. 11th, 2005 @ 11:32 am The Lord is my trunk monkey I shall not want to beat up my landlords;)
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: light thunder in the distance
Man, I'm really gonna miss this pastor. He showed a clip of the trunk monkey beating this annoying guy in traffic with a crow bar with the theme music "don't worry be happy." Then talked about how we really don't need to worry about anything because God's in charge. I guess I've really messed things up trying to do it all myself. I'm so grateful I'm going home I'm trying to not look at my living in a trailer or Jer being gone in Iraq as the price I have to pay to be happy with my family and friend's.

The cashiers office at UMHB has some odd issue with me according to a letter I got in the mail first addressed to my middle name J. Johnson instead of Jaime. So I thought it was just a mistake but they sent me another with my name spelled correctly yesterday. I was going to call them again and go down in person if I couldn't resolve it anyway. I'm afraid it's going to be the whole Pell Grant issue and them saying well you used part of it already at OLLU or something. Otherwise I paid for my tuition and books outright. All I want is my stupid transcript for george fox.

This coming weeks agenda is mighty full but I'm just glad it's full of purpose. Perscriptions to fill, medical coverage to change, things to cancel, bills to pay, I've been staying up late talking to my friend Jack since my visit home and it's just going to be so fun to hang out in person again. Hehe, working at the pharmacy in Walmart will be nice too just in that I'll get a discount on what I end up buying anyway.

Jer's doing really bad sadly and not calling me for whatever reason. I know the phone coverage sucks in Sierra Vista but it'd be nice to know he hasn't run any of his stupid commanders over lately. He's out of his meds and can't get a dr to call down to AZ so he can get it on base. He sounded so strung out on the phone I'm actually a little afraid he's going to do something stupid. He's also back to spending money we don't have and I'm pissed I can't call him to ask why he's taking cash out of our cards when he's living in the barricks where food, shelter, and drivers are supplied.

Well I need a nap. I have quite a pounding headache and poor itchy Shadow kept me up most the night. Off to dream about trunk monkeys;) Take care!
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gir dancing
Sep. 6th, 2005 @ 01:06 am I'm really lucky underneathe it all
Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: Dave Matthews mother father
Well my trip home was incredibly short but I lived up every minute of it. I got probably less than a total of 16 hrs sleep my entire trip. Our long flight had us arrive late Weds evening. Jer got a call the next day as we were heading out to his parent's campsite only to find out they were making him fly home early Saturday morning. Once again we were incredibly fortunate and after some dickering they switched out his ticket minus the 800 dollar cost difference. I flew home late last night and all this morning so I'm fairly exhausted. I had such a great time with all our family and my great friends Jack and Elaine who stayed up in the wee hours just to hang out.I'm dying to go back home. Jer's already off in AZ and they messed up his whole TDY hotel/food reimbursement situation. So now I'm scrambling to make up the difference and to find a uhaul for less than 3k:P At least I get to pick the puppers up tomorrow:) Here's some of the pictures I took... probably be more of the artsy ones later:D Oh and love you guys! Happy to be back blogging as well. Good times! *update* sounds like I'm moving around Sept. 22nd...!

My neices/nephews

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Friend's wedding and our family

Jer and his sisters: Image hosted by Photobucket.com

My sister-in-law Shelli and nephew Cory: Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Bride of Jer's bestfriend and my neice Brianna: Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Jer and sister of his bestfriend Sarah: Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Jer and grand-daughter of family friend Kaylee: Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Jer and his bestfriend Eric: Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Jer's family: Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Eric and Nicole kissing after cutting wedding cake: Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Jer's Mom teaching Currin to dance: Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Jer's parent's dancing: Image hosted by Photobucket.com


Oregon coast

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Tractor time at my dad's new house

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Dad and me visiting my Mom's grave on her birthday: Image hosted by Photobucket.com
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gir dancing
Aug. 29th, 2005 @ 03:20 pm So when should a marriage officially end?
Current Mood: fed up
Current Music: windchimes
I'm not sure why but Jer lies to my face and constantly breaks down my trust. He's just so passive aggressive. He says he'll do something then doesn't do it so he won't have to say he disagrees with me and start a conflict but gets his damn way in the end. I've just been trying so hard lately to not be hurt by trusting him over and over since I know trust is essential to a relationship but it's just gotten to the point I'm wondering why I should. I've even called him on this and of course he gets all defensive and runs off in a huff to his glorious computer or tv where he can tune me out. I guess I'm at the point I'm wondering if I'm not headed down the same miserable path my parent's were on. I don't want to have kid's and have them suffer through this kind of dysfunction that only gets more bitter with time until they too are confused what love and comittment mean when it comes to their own relationships. I can only do so much and I'm well aware. Not to say I don't have a part in the dysfunction it's more we can't deal with it until he too admits there's a problem and wants to do something about it. It's not just the stress of everything miserable army life included either. It's the fact that when looking at the turn of events I actually think he's wanting to stay in the Army for life after everythings said and done. I've seen many marriages that just legally hang on with couples dead to each other for years. It's not that I don't love him it's that I hurt so much because I do I'm not sure it's the right kind of love to fight for. I'm not sure this empty life together is the one I want to live.

The bathroom inspector came out and basically implied nothing would happen. It'd cost them 900 bucks at the cheapest to do a full out review of the bathroom and the realtors wouldn't be willing to do that. Jer told me he'd go to JAG today. He left the mold report I placed out with a note on his boots so there was no possible way he'd forget it. He left it on the table. Then called me saying he couldn't miss class today and that he wouldn't be home until 830 because he had to do matenance work. No he didn't get the windshield people to come out to the car. No he's of course not going to be able to mow the lawn which is a foot tall now even though he said he would tonight. No he won't pick up the records and the shampoo I left at the vet's office before they close either. Instead of feeling guilty about not doing these things he chews me out for being upset. No I can't have the car he has to do errands all damn day with it of course. Yeah, he enjoys looking at porn on his computer even when I told him how much that hurt me and told me he'd stop. And now he's going to Iraq for a year or two and I don't trust him anymore.

I've given up so much because I wanted to be with him. My degrees have been on hold, he's permanently injured my neck/spine from car wrecks, I should have a career by now, I've missed out on 2 and half years of my friends and families lives, and now I'm living in a dump making the puppers and me sicker everyday.

I guess I'm just so fed up and miserable I'm having trouble even making out what should be done if anything to improve the situation for both of us. I'm just gonna give it up to God for now because the crying on the instead is ripping my heart apart.
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incoming!
Aug. 29th, 2005 @ 01:51 am If you walk out on me I'll walk after you
Current Mood: restlessrestless
Current Music: Elaine IMing me
So the army did it again. We figured out why they wanted Jer home on Labor day. Apparently that class at Ft. Huachuca down in AZ where my lil bro is has a slot ready for him and his pal. Jer and his buddy are expected to drive to Sierra Vista Labor day in time to take classes that Tuesday. That wouldn't be as big a deal if he wasn't stuck there until Oct. 11th. Yeah, I'm not inclined to stay in stupid TX by myself only to be leaving around that time anyway to move back home when he should get his block leave. So Jer's going JAG tomorrow since he'll be missing these classes here to take the ones there. The sad thing is one they shoulda told us so we could've used our leave to pack before he goes and that they just took our last month together away since he's going to Iraq. I'm pretty sure we have a case for the mold and breaking the lease. That or the cockroaches anyway. So at least if we force their hand the puppers and myself can be home that much quicker.

The mold inspector that showed up randomly the other day finally returned a message we left saying he was sorry. He set up today at 1pm to come by and enjoy our mold. I just hope he says this place is uninhabitable and says we'll send you packing ASAP. Yes, how nice would that be:) Poor Shadows on a new 20 dollar a month 3 pill a day thing for her mold allergies now. They still don't work in the last hour or so so she still has gnawing sores. We took the puppers to their 'day spa vacation' place where we'll be leaving them on our short short flight home. The woman who'll care for them said they were lovely and good dogs to my amazement;) Clover and Shadow have been getting really close the last couple months. Just sleeping on each other and playing all the time.

Sigh so I'm supposed to lose Jer until he gets leave or I'll have to fly back to TX to see him before he goes. If not he'll follow me home for block leave and we'll head for the Northern border hehe;) Well anyway in anticipation of the trip home I got my haircut today... the lady was scissor happy. Least the puppers grooming turned out adorable.. shoulda gone to her... if I could've afforded it!

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incoming!
Aug. 24th, 2005 @ 09:02 pm The good, bad, and the downright UGLY
Current Mood: gratefulgrateful
Current Music: Jack IMing me
So Jer and I were so extremely excited we were going home Jer somehow missed they cancelled his block leave Friday. I booked our non-refundable plane tickets Sunday that just happend to have a 260.00 fine for cancelling. I cried most of yesterday because of how much I wanted to see my/Jer's family, a friend's wedding, put flowers on my mother's grave for her birthday, all my friends who were taking time off work to see me, and that we probably wouldn't see Jer's dying aunt alive again.

Then I prayed and everyone I mentioned it to did their own wishes in their own way. They ended up giving us 5 days from sept 1st to the 5th. Yeah, it's far from our originally 16 days but hey we'll take what we can get. The other incredibly fortunate thing was that after calling directly to the airline and finally talking to a mom of a Navy son she dropped the penalties and flat out swapped us tickets for the days we needed. What a wonderful thing.

They cancelled his block leave because they switched his unit while he was gone in Death Valley. So he's officially supposed to get block leave sometime in October. Pending his Iraq orders and them actually approving his official block leave we'll be moving me home soon enough.

My little brother called yesterday telling me his neurologist refused to see him because he couldn't see a pinched nerve on his xray. So they're just med boarding him out. He got screwed out of his pain meds because his dr left on vacation and forgot to do his refill like he'd called to do. No one would refill it because it's a narcotic and they said they'd have to see her treatment plan to do it. Then there's the whole he has two large lumps in his testicles causing them to swell and be mighty inconvenient. Army drs say wait 2wks and we'll do an ultrasound until then wear tight underwear to reduce the swelling. I'm not kidding. So I said bypass them and go to the ER. He did just that and turns out he has two very engorged vericous veins that need surgery to be removed. But he gets a month leave which he's intending on using to buy a custom factory v8 truck of some sort to ease his pain:P

So off we go scrambling to remake and postpone the many arrangements that followed the bad, good, and ugly news. Hope you're all doing well and say hi before I go so I know you're alive:)
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conscience